Middle school is one of the most formative years of a person’s life. Many of our values, hobbies, and personality traits stem from these earlier years. Middle school is also a time when teens form lasting bonds and lifelong friends. Sadly, it also comes with one of the highest rates of bullying. The National Center for Education Statistics estimates that 26.1% of middle school students experience bullying compared to 14.6% of high schoolers.
We recently interviewed a few adults aged 18 to 25 about their middle school experiences. Their names have been changed to protect their privacy. The reflections shared by these individuals help us understand that confusion and struggle are part of the middle school experience, not something that defines failure. Whether you are entering middle school or are a parent watching your child go through it, we hope these experiences will help your journey.
Sarah: Navigating New and Old Friendships, Building a Supportive Network
Some of the challenges I faced in middle school involved discovering who I was and beginning to understand what I was passionate about. During that time, I developed a strong interest in environmental science, biology, and the natural sciences. While I was excited by these interests, I was also trying to figure out how they fit into my life and what role they might play in my future. Another challenge was navigating friendships. Middle school was a time when I learned how to make new friends while also realizing that some older friendships were beginning to change. Although that process was exciting, it was also bittersweet. Looking back, these experiences helped me become more self-aware, adaptable, and open to personal growth.
I handled those challenges by learning to accept that it was natural to have mixed emotions about change. When it came to friendships, I realized that feeling both excited about new relationships and sad about losing or outgrowing old ones was a normal part of growing up. I learned to be more adaptable by opening myself up to new people, new hobbies, and new interests that connected me with the friends I was making. When it came to thinking about my future career, I allowed myself to explore rather than feel pressured to have everything figured out. It was the first time I really began thinking about what I might want to do in the future, which felt both confusing and daunting. Instead of avoiding those feelings, I leaned into my interests by meeting new people and immersing myself in new experiences. For example, I traveled to Kenya with our environmental club, which deepened my passion for environmental science, wildlife conservation, and the natural world. That experience helped me understand that exploring my interests was one of the best ways to learn more about myself.
I did feel that I had adults and loyal peers I could count on for support. My dad was one of my biggest supporters during that time. He was always willing to help me learn more about different careers, answer my questions about the real world, and encourage my curiosity about science and the natural world. I also found support in my new friends. They were peers I looked up to, and being around them helped me grow, try new things, and become more confident in who I was becoming. In addition, a few of my middle school teachers had a meaningful impact on me. They encouraged my interests and helped shape the way I thought about learning, growth, and my future.
From my middle school experience, I learned that it is okay when things do not turn out exactly the way you hoped or planned. Whether it was a hobby, a passion, a school project, or a friendship, I realized that even when you put time and effort into something, it may not always succeed or unfold the way you expected. At first, that was disappointing to me because I wanted things to work out the way I had imagined. Over time, however, I learned that those experiences still had value. Even the disappointments taught me something about myself, helped me grow, and brought me closer to where I am today. They helped me become more resilient, open-minded, and comfortable with change.
The advice I would give to someone entering middle school is to stay open to new experiences and not be afraid of failure or change. Middle school is a time to explore who you are, try new things, meet new people, and learn from both the good and difficult moments. Not everything will go perfectly, but every experience can help shape you in a meaningful way.
Ayra: Finding Your Tribe and Belonging
The biggest challenge for me was figuring out where I fit in socially. I spent a lot of energy trying to belong to friend groups that weren’t really right for me, which made me feel like I was losing track of who I actually was.
I eventually stopped forcing friendships and found a small group of people through a club I joined. Having even two or three genuine friends made a huge difference in how I felt about school overall. It’s not about having 300 friends, it’s about having 3 friends that genuinely care about you and are always ready to stick up for you. Adult and peer support were present because I had a small but genuine group of friends.
Middle school is when everyone is figuring themselves out at the same time, so don’t judge your experience against others who seem to have it together — they don’t. Pick friends based on how you feel around them, not how cool they seem. A small, real friendship beats a big, fake one every time.
To be continued…
